 |
|
|
 Vallarta Living | February 2006 
Viviendo en México
 Korah Winn - PVNN
| | It is a lonely thought when a car honks at you in Guadalajara and your first thought is, “They couldn’t possibly be honking at me because no one knows me here.” |
Lately, my perception about myself has changed. I have taken on the identity of being a foreigner. Each day when I open my eyes, I wake up in a land where the words are unfamiliar to me and I find it difficult to express myself adequately.
I have learned to manage somewhat, but not to the extent that I can operate at home. I get frustrated and I often feel alone even when I am surrounded by people from here who care about me.
I laugh about how I used to think how ridiculous it was if a person lived in a different country and never learned the language even after several years. Now that I find myself in a different country, I understand so much better how that can happen.
There are some things that are quite difficult about learning a new language. On top of everything, I chose this situation for myself. I sought it out and made it happen. I did not move to another country out of financial distress. I did not move for religious freedom. I did not flee political dictatorship or war. I have the freedom of choice. I can go to my home country any time I choose to buy myself a ticket. I have a safe, pleasant place to go back to whenever I desire.
I cannot even begin to imagine being forced to flee from everything I have ever known and relocate in a land where I do not have the words to tell what I am feeling. How empty a feeling it must be to have no other recourse than to stay where they are because their “home” as they once knew it does not exist anymore.
When I first imagined moving to Mexico, I thought I knew what I was coming to do. I was going to be a part of a different culture and do my best to learn as much of Spanish as I possibly could in seven months.
I have now completed almost five of those seven months and I have been doing what I intentioned but I have been absorbing different things than what I anticipated. I have learned little lessons every day that have been changing the way I perceive my own life and what I find to be important.
I ask myself, “How is it that I have a huge desire to be here and to do all of this and still find myself wanting to drop everything and get on a plane home?” Would I feel different if I were living in a foreign country where they did speak English?
I am growing in ways here that I probably never would in the US. I want to be able to offer my family and community so many things because of the experiences I have had and because of that, I keep pushing on to do try new things.
I think I am finding though, that my heart is quieting down somewhat and I am beginning to realize how precious a real home is. I know better now what a privilege it is to have the people you love within twenty minutes distance of you.
It is a lonely thought when a car honks at you in Guadalajara and your first thought is, “They couldn’t possibly be honking at me because no one knows me here.” Even if it is boring at times, there is an amount of comfort that comes along with going to Wal-mart at home and running into people with whom you have a history.
Overall the cultural and spiritual growth I have had has been rewarding. Even in the difficult times I know that I will look back on life as an expatriate with fondness. Life is an adventure after all, and sometimes leaving your comfort zone can give one a better appreciation of the place you call home. |
| |
|
Vallarta Weddings
Tell a Friend
Site Map
Print this Page
Email Us