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 Travel & Outdoors | November 2006 
A Delightful Detour to Mismaloya
 Jennye Garibaldi - Salt Lake Tribune
| | Avoid timeshare hustles at the quiet seaside village of Mismaloya, Mexico. (Richard Cummins/Lonely Planet) |
Upon checking into our amusement park-size hotel, my husband and I were greeted by a perky woman in a crisp uniform: "Before we show you to your room, I have a brief presentation." Uh-oh. There it was. "Welcome to Mexico! Can I interest you in a time share?"
In the steamy city of Puerto Vallarta, time shares rule. Nearly every hotel, restaurant and souvenir shop wants to sell you a slice of a beachfront condominium. And they're not easily discouraged. Time-share slingers will shout at you from storefronts, offering you a free meal, free booze, even money, just to lure you in.
We needed to escape the onslaught but still wanted to enjoy the balmy pleasures of PV's Bahia de Banderas bay area. Luckily, there are plenty of quiet seaside villages nearby that offer refuge from the time-share storm. We walked through the streets of Viejo Vallarta until we spotted a crowd of locals waiting at an unmarked stop at the corner of Constitucion and Basilio Badillo. For $1, we boarded a bus bound for Mismaloya.
Pop-trivia hounds know that Mismaloya is where John Huston filmed his adaptation of the Tennessee Williams classic "The Night of the Iguana." Many might also recall that this was the backdrop for the torrid affair between co-stars Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Liz and Dick we're not, but we could order some tequila and aspire!
"Seρor! Are you ready to go snorkeling?" the vendors began shouting to us along the path to the beach. I was just happy they weren't trying to sell me a condo with the snorkeling trip, so we stopped to hear their pitch. My husband bargained them down to $45 for the two of us to go to Los Arcos for an hour of uninterrupted snorkeling. No time-share hustle, no chain-smoking tourists, just us, our 16-year-old driver Chris, and his apprentice, 12-year-old Christian.
Los Arcos is a protected marine park that's about a 10-minute boat ride from the shore of Mismaloya. With a 16-year-old driving the boat, it was a fast five-minute ride. Once the water faded to a pale turquoise and the tunnels of Los Arcos were in plain sight, Chris stopped the boat. "This is the best snorkeling. From here (he pointed straight down) to there (motioning toward the closest tunnel). You can jump out now." Hey, when a 16-year-old with that much knowledge of from-here-to-there tells you to jump, you jump.
The ocean felt like a warm bath. I was blissfully floating among spotted eagle rays, puffer fish and clown fish. We bobbed around in the water for about an hour, swimming through the caves and tunnels of Los Arcos. Finally, Chris waved us in, and we clambered onto the boat for the ride back to shore.
Once on land, we hunkered down into two low-slung beach chairs and ordered cervezas. Abel, the proprietor of the restaurant, brought the beers with two shots of tequila, compliments of the house. Soon we were eating ceviche with tortilla chips that were still warm. An older gentleman played Mexican folk songs on a guitar, encouraging a table of well-lubricated locals to sing along. A waiter carried platters of fresh red snapper from table to table, allowing patrons to select a fish to be grilled on the homemade barbecue. Hours passed and the sun eventually sank toward the ocean. In a pleasant tequila torpor, tanned and full of fish, we decided it was time to head back. We didn't feel exactly like Liz and Richard, but were content to co-star in our own mini Mexican epic.
Puerto Vallarta is about a half-hour away from Mismaloya, so you can still visit without having to relocate. If you do decide to stay, there are a few options. Barcelo La Jolla de Mismaloya (Zona Hotelera Sur, Km. 11.5, www.barcelo.com, 800-227-2356, rooms from $90) is a large, family-friendly resort right on the beach. For something more like home, Casa Iguana (Av. 5 de Mayo 455, www.casaiguanahotel .com, 011-52-322-228-0186, suites from $90) offers large condo-style suites nestled among the mountains. Dreams Puerto Vallarta Resort & Spa is a luxurious, all-inclusive establishment with a private beach cove (Carr. a Barra de Navidad Km. 3.5, www.dreamsresorts. com/puerto vallarta , 011-52-322-226-5000, rooms from $185).
Where to eat:
* Any of the beachfront restaurants are great for post-snorkeling/diving cheap eats. If you're looking for something more formal, there are restaurants up the hill that fit the bill. Le Kliff overlooks the ocean and serves up Asian-influenced dishes (Carr. a Barra de Navidad Km. 17.5, www.lekliff.com/eng, 011-52-322-228-0666, mains $18-$28). Remember the scene in "Predator" when Arnold first comes face to face with the beast? No? Me neither. But apparently El Eden Restaurant is where it happened. If that isn't appetizing, I don't know what is. Go late - busloads of organized tours stop here earlier in the day (Ribera del rio Mismaloya, 011-52-322-222-1084, mains $15-$25). |
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