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 Travel & Outdoors | June 2008 
The Testy Traveling Texan: What to Wear
 Andy Trevathan - Life According to Andy
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| | My travel destination: The Brunnenburg Castle in northern Italy. The castle houses "The Ezra Pound Centre for Literature" where students come from all over the world to study poetry. | | |
Traveling in the post-9/11 world is no easy task. With every bag searched, shoes, jewelry, and belts removed, underwire bras felt up, it’s no wonder that frustration and bad manners are at an all time high. Not to mention the half-dressed state we are all in when running for the overbooked, high-priced, low service miniscule square foot of canned air space that we jam ourselves, our laptops and carry-on baggage into. Wouldn’t it make it a lot simpler if we all travel in our birthday suit?
Now, I know this suggestion borders on ludicrous… but it would remove a lot of the stress and add an element of personal honesty not often found except in the proctologist’s or ob/gyn’s office. However, the likelihood of this proposition being enacted is, at best, minimal… so don’t worry, there is little to no chance that we will be forced to view our fellow prisoners in transit in an exaggerated state of indecency. That is unless the TSA bans clothing… and with so many things being banned, I can’t help but to wonder what article of clothing will be placed on the travel hit-list.
Which brings me to the burning question at hand, “what should one wear when traveling?” I debate long and hard on this very issue when approaching my various travels. Having, on more than one occasion, been trapped in my somewhat stinky traveling clothes for upwards of 32 hours, this is most every traveler’s dilemma when heading out for the interminably long holiday or business trip.
White is never good for traveling; unless you are an absolute clean freak who never leaked a taco on white jeans, or splashed salsa from the chip to chin to chest. I have not so fond memories of being trapped in my favorite white peasant style shirt during the brutally long drive from Houston to Zacatecas to Guadalajara, and finally hitting the Pacific Coast just north of Puerto Vallarta 27+ hours later. Unfortunately, that beautiful white shirt was never the same, and was so badly stained and abused that it was declared MIA somewhere in Michoacan.
My Che Guevara Revolution Coffee House tee would probably not be a good choice either, unless I am deliberately asking for a full body search by TSA officials looking for smuggled guns, cigars or other Cuban contraband.
Along those same lines, my favorite Godfather tee might lead the authorities in question to double or triple check my name against lists of various organized crime figures. Not that it would match, but you never know… and, personally I don’t think anyone looks good in jailhouse orange or horizontal stripes.
Then, there is my beloved Mussolini shirt (purchased in Milan from a nice, young man who had many great things to say about the former Axis power, Fascist dictator.) By the same logic, this shirt would as unlikely a candidate as the marijuana leaf tee I saw while traveling through Chicago’s O’Hare Airport. Talk about asking for an arrest and a subsequent cavity search. None of these items are suited for sporting within the new confines of the post-9/11 airport-entity.
So, what does one where when imprisoned in the transportation system???
Gone are the days when we all dressed up for air travel. Gone are the days of high class rail travel. Remember those old movies with the beau waving longingly from the train platform while the femme fatale blew kisses from the window? She wore stylish gloves and a suit that Bette Davis or Lana Turner would kill for (that is, IF they were still alive.)
Gone are the days of stewardesses wearing cute little skirts with matching hats. Those went the way of the dinosaur along with generous leg room and swanky little cocktail cars. We, in our lifetime, have witnessed the demise of classy travel. Now, for most travelers it’s jeans or cargo shorts, or maybe a pair of Dockers and blazer (for the more dignified) business traveler.
For me, on this 24+ hour trip to Munich, Germany and later my final destination of Brunnenburg, Italy it’s a pair of Levis and a pink polo. Not stylish, not controversial…but comfortable and it doesn’t scream, “Search me; I might be harboring a fugitive, baby-seal clubbing terrorist spy in these baggy jeans.” Still, wouldn’t it be nice if we all looked as good as we feel on these trips... oh right, we already do.
andytrevathan(at)gmail.com |
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