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How to Host Your First Lonely Thanksgiving
 Anna Peele - Esquire
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November 18, 2010
It just occurred to you that this is your first Thanksgiving away from your family. Maybe they're jetting off for a week in Puerto Vallarta and you can't get the time off work. Perhaps you can't spring for the exorbitant cost of a ticket to Detroit Metro. Or possibly you're just breaking off from the great family ordeal and starting your own satellite Thanksgiving. Whatever the reason for your Thanksgiving spin-off, here are some tips for dealing with your abandonment issues and eating like a pilgrim.
1. Ask a relative for the recipe of your favorite dish.
Just because you're not with your family doesn't mean you have to go without. Of course you can cobble together a damn good meal on Epicurious alone, but Thanksgiving just isn't Thanksgiving without that one special dish. So call up Aunt Selma and ask for the recipe for her cheesy broccoli and challah spectacular. Ninety percent of the time, it's not as hard to make as you think it is, and the recipe involves Velveeta.
2. Prepare things on Wednesday.
Dessert, salad, deviled eggs, cranberry sauce: You can make all of this the day before. "Prepare things on Wednesday" also happens to be a euphemism for getting done earlier what you won't want to worry about the day of. Running to the liquor store, making sure you have enough clean forks, and getting the turkey all fall under this category.
3. Buy your turkey the right way.
You've never cooked a whole turkey before, so we and the kind folks at D'Artagnan are here to take the guesswork out. They suggest you pre-order from a butcher or supplier you trust. You don't want the scrawny, frozen birds left at ShopRite Thanksgiving morning. Also, organic, antibiotic-free birds taste better and won't give you cancer. Wondering what the difference is between the $50 turkey and the $125 one? Heritage turkeys have been around since the pilgrims and are boutique breeds, which are chosen for taste rather than how much breast meat can be produced most cheaply. Remember that each guest needs one to one-and-a-half pounds of meat. And finally, get some truffle butter to rub between the flesh of the bird and the skin. It will lend that touch of class to your amateur event.
4. Invite the right people.
The first rule of soliciting people who have nowhere to go for Thanksgiving is to not make them feel like it's a pity invite. Delicately request the presence of a mix of interesting people: You don't want this to end in screaming like a real family get-together, but there should be enough characters there to keep it interesting. After all, it isn't a holiday without someone making an awkward declaration at the table ("I voted for Christine O'Donnell," "My new wife should be arriving from Thailand once that check clears," etc.).
5. Make sure you've got plenty of booze.
In addition to staving off feelings of rejection, alcohol will certainly encourage feelings of holiday cheer among the misfits your lonely-hearts Thanksgiving has attracted. The last thing you want while you're slaving in the kitchen is the pressure of playing camp counselor to guests who may not know each other, so make sure you've got a few bottles on hand. And if your friends are the kind of animals to whom this needs to be spelled out, ask everyone to bring something alcoholic. It's the least they can do to thank you for saving them from Thanksgiving wretchedness and Chinese take-out.
6. Don't pressure yourself.
You don't have to be Martha Stewart on your first go-around. Hell, you don't even have to be Sandra Lee. Don't beat yourself up over lumps in the gravy or the fact that you bought stuffing mix instead of trying that cornbread, sage, and fennel recipe Michael Pollan was touting. It's your first Thanksgiving out of the nest, so just be proud that no one got salmonella from your turkey or cried at the table (God willing). |
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