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 Health & Beauty | September 2005 
Common Problems with a Move to a Foreign Country: or How Come I Feel so Crappy in Paradise!
 Sueanne H. Lineberger - PVNN
Moving to a foreign country makes enormous demands upon our psyche. Not only do we have to deal with the stress of leaving home, we also have to struggle to find the way to live within a country whose culture, society, and language are so different from our own. For some, this double challenge can become overwhelming and lead to a variety of psychological and emotional reactions.
Depression
Depression is a reaction to loss. When under the throes of transitional anxiety, it is more likely that the individual will focus on what s/he no longer has available. While the losses of transition are quite personal, some of the more common losses include: the loss of freedom ("What happens if I get lost in the car? I wouldn't even know how to ask for help!"), the loss of contact with friends and relatives, the loss of a predictable life (the uninterrupted flow of electricity is never guaranteed), the loss of feeling self-sufficient and independent, the loss of knowing what is being said between the lines, and the "simple" losses of one's everyday routines. Once depression sets in, it is possible that the person will experience insomnia, fatigue, lethargy, and a need to avoid contact with others.
Annoyance and Irritation
Have you ever sat in a room with people who all seem to know what is going on and your ears are so clogged that you cannot hear a thing? There is a sense of being in a fish-bowl, out-of-touch with everyone and everything. Coming to Mexico confronts the foreigner with a barrage of unfamiliar social, professional, and interpersonal rules (for example, how to relate to household employees, how to determine what is being expected from you within social and professional situations, and how to get your point across to others without being aggressive or appearing insecure). For some, not knowing what to do keeps them on the defensive and hypersensitive to others' behavior. At times, this state of irritation becomes chronic and overflows into relationships that otherwise would be quite tranquil.
Confusion and Withdrawal
One of the more common reactions to persistent anxiety is that of confusion and withdrawal from the perceived source of the problem. Some seek refuge from the demands of adapting to Mexico by isolating themselves from Nationals or from those who do not share their negative perceptions of Mexico and Mexicans. In some cases, the anxiety related to being in Mexico forces certain foreigners to withdraw emotionally from their family members, which only creates greater family instability. For some, separating from some of the routines considered untouchable (the lunch hour, favorite holidays, family ceremonies) and realizing just how relative everything is leads them towards a certain existential confusion. In the face of such angst, some find refuge in solitude and silence.
Loneliness and Boredom
Being unable to meet the challenge of adapting to Mexico, some individuals become overwhelmed with loneliness. The loneliness results from the defensive reactions described above, as well as from being cut-off from the tried and true. These people often bemoan the fact that they are not with their "best" friends or can no longer go to their "favorite" places. The farther away they are from home, the more these people and places take on a bigger-than-life aura. In comparison to the old routines and familiar activities, Mexico has nothing to offer! This reaction occurs frequently with adolescents who struggle with the additional burden of having less freedom of movement and less opportunity to explore their environment. The experience of boredom at times is a camouflage for fear or depression.
Behavioral Excesses
Both here and back home, eating too much, sleeping too much, cleaning too much, taking too much medication, and drinking excessively are ways of calming the anxiety, loneliness, boredom, and depression. Without proper support and friendly advice (which is unlikely given their isolation and the need to maintain a mask within their new social group), these individuals run the risk of falling so deep into an emotional hole that climbing out often requires professional help. Some executives find that they get caught-up in the long lunches so typical within the Mexican business environment. Their professional insecurity or the need to "get along" with their Mexican colleagues may make it difficult for them to set appropriate limits, and, as a result, eat and drink much more than they prefer or enjoy.
Psychosomatic Illness
Despite our best attempts to repress the painful emotions of an unsuccessful adaptation to Mexico, our bodies will absorb the emotional stress and develop physical symptoms. Not only does the physical symptom provide a symbolic expression of the emotional trauma, it enables the person to get the help and attention that is so desperately needed (without having to risk being emotionally vulnerable). The more common psychosomatic problems experienced by the new resident and his/her family are: lower back aches, indigestion, high blood pressure, dizziness, chronic colds and other respiratory disturbances, as well as headaches, insomnia, and fatigue.
If you notice yourself, identifying with these symptoms talk about it! Find others who have made the move and see how they have coped. If you find things are not getting better, consider getting professional help to help learn some coping techniques.
Click HERE for more information about Vallarta Counseling Associates and to contact Sueanne. |
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