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 Weird News
Bachelor's Friends Use Billboard to Find Him Dates
 AP
Friends say Lance Archibald is a tall, handsome former college basketball player and graduate of Harvard business school. He's also still single at 31, and so they're hoping to speed things up with a billboard and Web site.more »»»
Granny Grows Tired of Prostitution at Age 63
 Reuters
A Berlin grandmother who has worked the city's diplomatic quarter as a prostitute for the last 49 years plans to retire when she turns 64 next year, according to Germany's Bild newspaper.more »»»
Mexican Officials Arrest Migrants Who Posed As Clowns
 Wire services
Two Honduran migrants who tried to make part of their way to the United States in clown disguises were detained Thursday when bus passengers feared they might be masked bandits, police said.more »»»
Hawaiian Pets Gain Right of Inheritance
 Tara Godvin
Canines of all sizes and a spotted rabbit named Roxy were among those gathered Friday at the Capitol to watch Gov. Linda Lingle sign into law a measure that allows residents to leave a trust for the care of their dog, cat, or other domestic animal.more »»»
Woman Performs Cesarian Section on Herself
 Wire services
After 12 hours of constant pain, a 40-year-old mother of six sat down on a wooden bench, drank from a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and used a 6-inch kitchen knife to cut open her stomach.more »»»
Race Donkeys Live Like Horses
 Morgan Lee
On a recent Sunday, a shaggy donkey named El Moro raced past screaming crowds to victory in Mexico's annual burro derby, winning by a length to bring home a $550 US purse.more »»»
Fly Nude
Wire services
 A Texas travel agency which organises clothing-optional holidays, has been running what it claims is the world’s first nude flight.
Houston-based Castaways Travel says sex won’t be allowed on the flight from Miami to Cancun in Mexico. It has chartered a Boeing 727 for up to 170 passengers for flights to the El Dorado Resort & Spa. The crew will be professionally dressed, and passengers must be fully-clothed for check-in and takeoff.
Company owner, James Bailey, said most of the seats on the nude flights and rooms in the resort have already been booked. He said “Inappropriate behaviour is not condoned. This is not a Mile High Club, not a bunch of groupies or anything. It’s just a fun flight.” Only when the plane has reached its cruising altitude can the passengers strip off.
The Federal Aviation Administration said: “We have no regulations pertaining to nudity on board an aircraft. It’s not a safety issue.”
Prison Conditions
Wire services
 Deprived of their flat-screen TVs, mobile phones, pizza deliveries and long visits from lovers, inmates at Mexico’s top security prison complained on Monday they are being treated like animals.
A government crackdown in prisons, aimed especially at drug lords and other violent criminals, has the prisoners of La Palma jail close to Mexico City up in arms at the “subhuman” conditions they face.
Jenna Jameson Pornstar Ringtones
Wire services
 This is one cellphone you might not want to set to “High & Vibrate.” Porn star Jenna Jameson is now hawking her “moan tones.”
For $2.50 fans of the ubiquitous porno queen can choose from a variety of moans, grunts and lurid sexual noises all recorded by the blond bombshell. If that’s not enough, Jameson will talk dirty to you when you phones rings, in English or Spanish.
“Rock stars make music tones, porn stars make moan tones,” said Dennis Adamo, head of Wicked Wireless. “We thought it would be an interesting novel approach of introducing new content to the mobile users.”
Jameson’s charms are already being downloaded in Argentina, Ecuador, Venezuela, and in a couple of weeks will be available from Mexico to Uruguay. No mobile carriers in the United States have expressed any interest in carrying the service.
Run, Jump or Swim
Atlanta Journal-Constitution
 A dispatch from El Alberto, Mexico (near Mexico City), profiled a theme park in which potential and wannabe immigrants to the United States can test their survival skills in an obstacle course that touches on the rigors migrants endure sneaking across the border. The cost of this rehearsal for a better life is an admission fee of the equivalent of $13.
Woman Fined for Botching the National Anthem
Wire services
 Mexico City - A woman who fumbled a few phrases of Mexico’s national anthem while singing the song before a soccer game in Guadalajara has been fined $40 for the blunder.
Guadalupe Madrigal acknowledged she got the words wrong while singing before a recent match between teams from Guadalajara and Monterrey, Mexico’s Interior Department announced Saturday in a written statement.
Semen Moisturizer Big In Mexico
Reuters
 A face moisturizer made out of semen has been launched in Mexico. Porn star Lyn May, who is in her sixties, is behind the company producing the cream. May swears that the Semen moisturizer is capable of erasing wrinkles and leaves skin soft.
She told Las Ultimas Noticias, "I select attractive young man and pay them for their semen that is mixed with honey and oats to create the moisturizer."
Cannibal of Michoacán
Wire services
 A man was arrested and accused of murdering his own father, when he was caught about to devour the body after the victim was brutalized. The event took place at the small city of Indaparapeo, east of Michoacán, Mexico. The alleged cannibal was identified as Francisco Maldonado Garcia, male, age 45 from Las Galeras.
Neighbors stated to the police that the cannibal attacked his father with a machete, and a metal structure used as a char broiler. After that, Garcia started to eat the head of his father, and drink his blood. It was then when he was arrested by the police, who got to the scene of the crime alerted by the terrorized neighbors.
Eat the Worm
Cox News Service
 According to a report from Mexico City, the government nearly killed its export market for the fabled mezcal, a liquor (similar to tequila) traditionally sold with a worm floating in the bottle. Bureaucrats had recently proposed to ban the worm because of its high fat content, even though as much as 70 percent of mezcal sales are based on the worm (with alleged sexual or hallucinatory powers), but changed their minds.
1,300 Fake Law Badges Seized
 CNN
Federal agents arrested a man and charged him with possessing and selling more than 1,300 counterfeit badges representing 35 law enforcement agencies, the U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement agency said.more »»»
Candidate Admits Using Twin as Stand-In
 Reuters
The leading candidate for mayor of San Antonio, Texas admitted on Thursday using his twin brother as a stand-in at a civic event without telling anyone it was not him.more »»»
Woman Who Claimed She Found a Finger in Bowl of Wendy’s Chili Arrested, Police Say It Was Hoax
 Wire services
In San Jose, California, police investigating how a human finger ended up in a woman’s bowl of Wendy’s chili declared the claim a hoax after she was arrested on charges of attempted grand larceny.more »»»
It's Not Easy Living On Dork Street
 Associated Press
It's not easy living on Dork Street - just ask Mario Saucedo. "I had a resume kicked back because someone thought I was kidding," said Saucedo, who has lived on the street in this suburb about a dozen miles southeast of downtown Los Angeles for eight years.more »»»
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