| | |  Health & Beauty | October 2009 
Ask The Doctor: Loneliness - Health Hazards to Mind and Body
 Judy Krings - ActionBasedCoaching.com
October 10, 2009
| | If you live too much in your own head, without enough input from others, loneliness may take up residence in your soul. | |
Clinical psychologist and internationally certified personal and professional life coach Judy Krings talks about loneliness and how it can effect your health and happiness. She also gives us advice on how to lighten your loneliness load for a better, more fulfilling life.
Q. I am getting lonelier as I get older. I don't feel depressed, just like something is missing. Is this normal?
A. Everyone, no matter their age, feels lonely sometimes. When you get right down to it, there is only one, unique you, experiencing life like no one else. And if you live too much in your own head, without enough input from others, loneliness may take up residence in your soul.
Yes, the older you get, the more pronounced loneliness emerges. As we are living longer, we know that loneliness is an issue that needs to be addressed.
Loneliness per se isn't bad for you, however. Staying lonely is. No matter how outgoing and popular you are, or how many friends you have, there will still be times when you feel isolated.
Recent research indicates that about one quarter of people complain about feeling lonely. Going off to college, divorce, longer life spans, and widowhood add fuel to the loneliness fire. Living alone also heightens loneliness.
Interestingly, extroverts are not less lonely than introverts. They need more friends than the introverts not to feel lonely.
Your health can suffer if you remain lonely. Sleep deprivation, high blood pressure, and generalized feelings of unhappiness may surface. Breaking news research by Cacioppo in his book, Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, reveals remarkable evidence that loneliness leads to depression, not vice versa. This kicks to the curb the popular belief that depression causes loneliness.
Loneliness can be contagious, just like happiness is.
The good news is you can take action when loneliness looms on your horizon.
Remember Jimmy Buffett's lyrics, "Changes In Latitude, Changes in Attitude?"
Lighten your loneliness load and try these new shoes on for a better, life lifting fit:
• Stay married. It benefits your health, unless you feel alone and sad within your marriage. Get counseling or coaching if you know you could be happier.
• Connect with others even if you don't feel like it. Social interaction has been proven to elevate your happiness and health. You may even live longer.
• Stay away from whiners and complainers. Nix negative energy-sapping people.
• Get a pet. Even a gold fish if you can't manage dog or cat or other cuddly critter. You need to talk to someone. People are better than pets statistics reveal, yet there is a reason why folks call dogs a man's best friend.
• Make regular telephone calls to friends.
• Email or text friends. Join sites and share your common interests or play games on line. Got computer fear? Take lessons. My mom, 91 learned the computer in her late 80's. Now it is a blessing for her, a connection we share several time a day.
• Go to church or attend to your spirituality. You never truly walk alone.
Remember that it is not the number of relationships you have. It is the quality. Your feelings of emotional bonding and mutual acceptance are paramount. All humans need to connect and to feel a part of something larger than they. Emotionally and physically, belongingness, is a basic need.
The famous poet, John Donne, said, "No man is an island. No man walks alone." Walk towards someone and hold out your arms. Give them a hug. I hug every man or woman I see in military uniform and express my appreciation. I am free and not alone. I gratefully thank them for their service.
Studies show when you give love, it actually adds to the health of both of you. But check this out, your health benefits more than the person who is lucky to receive your love. A win-win for both.
Who can you express gratitude to today? It may just be the medicine you need to know that you matter.
 Dr. Judy Krings is a dynamic positive psychology clinical psychologist and internationally certified personal and professional life coach. Humorous and "uniquely human," her down-to-earth authenticity inspires people to harness their strengths and overcome their weaknesses. She puts heart in healing and joy in the journey. She is affiliated with HealthCare Resources Puerto Vallarta's Pamela Thompson, assisting bariatric patients. You can reach Dr. Judy at: (920) 682-9119, in Puerto Vallarta (322) 221-6269, at drj(at)lsol.net, or on the web: BariatricSurgeryCoaching.com, ActionBasedCoaching.com, RiverHillHelps.com. |
|
| |
Vallarta Weddings
Tell a Friend
Site Map
Print this Page
Email Us