Dazed & Confused | How To
|What Dad Never Taught You
Along with being able to kill and eat his own food, Man must have many other talents. Sadly, our parents - given the demands of work, health, and their no-good beer-drinkin' ways - just didn't have time to give us detailed procedures on everything we would need to know to get through life.
That's why we decided to put together this little section of essential skills. Its instructors fall within many realms of discipline: some ordinary, some a little out there, and some way over the top. If any of this stuff gets you into trouble, you didn't learn it from us.
How To Have Sex In A Car
Nothing like hopping into the back seat for a quickie. ... Learn how to have great sex in a car!
How to Spot Real Breasts
She may be hot but how much work has she has done "under the hood?" Learn how to spot fake breasts.
How To Pole Dance
Why should Demi Moore have a lock on this fun way of passing the time? Learning to pole dance can keep you both sexy and fit all at once.
How To Fake An Orgasm
Knowing how to fake an orgasm can be a very helpful trick to have up your sleeve (or down your pants) when the deed is dragging on!
How to Spice Up a Communion Wafer
By themselves, communion wafers are pretty vile. So the purpose of this experiment is to find out just what it takes to turn the communion experience from "ow!" to "wow!"
How To Build the "Bullshit Protector"
The "Bullshit Protector" flaps are a great way to protect yourself from GOP or punditry bullshit and spin, when spewed by the likes of George W. Bush.
How To Fake Fingerprints
In order to fake a fingerprint, one needs an original first. To retrieve someone elses fingerprint, one should rely on well tested forensic research methods - here's how.
How To Make a Duct Tape Wallet
Most people agree that Duct Tape can save you money on costly repair bills, but did you know that you could create a wallet to hold all of the money youve saved?
How To Spot Fake Ones
It's nice to know whether you're in the presence of two of Mammy Nature's miracles - or if squeezing her too tight is gonna make her spring a leak....
How To Survive as a Drunkard
From AA to 86, here's all you need to know about drinkin' with the Modern Drunkard's Survival Guide to cunning solutions for compromising situations...
How To Hypnotize a Lobster
When it comes to winning friends and influencing people, no one can resist you if you know how to cook a succulent, showy lobster dinner...
How To Hypnotize a Man
One of our readers just had to forward this popular "How To" that's been floating around the internet for a while looking like it a new home on our pages...
How To Get Your Car Unstuck
Around here, there's only two seasons - dust and mud - and your search for a place to enjoy them is going to lead you into some remote areas before you get back home...
How To Tell if a Suit's Out of Style
Go ahead, admit it! The thought of digging through your closets for something to wear while you're attending to some urgent matter in the states scares you to death...
How To Survive an Airline Crash
If you have a midair collision six miles above earth, it's time to drain that hip flask. Fortunately, plane crashes are rare - only one per every two million U.S. carrier flights...