Puerto Vallarta, Mexico – Few subjects inspire more stories, frustrations, and laughs than dieting, and MiMi Bomba has plenty of experience with all three. In her latest humorous reflection, she looks back on a lifetime of weight-loss fads, miracle cures, and questionable advice, proving that when it comes to diets, the journey is often more entertaining than the results.
Hola, Buen Dia, Cuates y Cuatas! Hello, Guys and Gals! Aloha, Wahines and Kanes!
Diet advice from MiMi Bomba: I am sharing this information with you because I have lost 300 pounds, and I figure that makes me an expert. (Full Disclosure: I lost 15 pounds 20 different times. But do the math, okay? That’s 300 pounds!)
I have tried Intermittent Fasting, which is just a fancy term for skipping breakfast and lunch. It didn’t work. I am absolutely positive it had nothing to do with potato chips, beer, popcorn, ice cream, or frozen Snickers. My advice is to avoid Intermittent Fasting. It does not work at all.
Years ago, there was a diet called “The Liz Taylor Diet.” Did any of you ever try that? I did. Allegedly, Liz Taylor came up with it, which is how she maintained her tiny figure all those years, right? Here’s how it went: Before every meal, eat some candy because that will take away your appetite and you won’t eat as much. So, I did that for a while. I gained ten pounds. The fact is I didn’t even eat anything, so I don’t know why it didn’t work.
I’m pretty sure it had nothing to do with the two-pound box of See’s Candies that used to be hidden under the workbench in the corner of the garage. It just disappeared. Well, the box was still there, but it was just full of little brown papers. I am the only one who knew it was there, so I have yet to solve that mystery. Anyway, the Liz Taylor Diet didn’t work, and I don’t know why.
Ever hear about the injections containing the urine of pregnant women? I used to go into a clinic once a week, get fat-shamed about my 130-pound body, and let them stick needles in me. I did lose weight though. (And then I got pregnant. What’s the science on that, do you think? Any connection?) Anyway, today I would love to have my 130-pound body back! Why did I think I needed to lose weight?
Remember the “Diet Pills” that worked so well and made us feel so good? Turns out we were a bunch of meth-heads. But we looked great, right? Those little over-the-counter pills had so many benefits; loss of appetite, loss of weight, and a clean house!
Today my favorite diet is all the tacos I can eat. I’ll let you know how it works…
See you soon!
MiMi Bomba
Writing with warmth, wit, and a deep affection for Puerto Vallarta, MiMi Bomba draws inspiration from classic humorists while creating a style all her own. Her stories celebrate the people, places, and experiences that make life in Puerto Vallarta both unpredictable and rewarding. Click HERE to read more essays by MiMi Bomba.
